I take great pride in greeting everyone at the door, keeping an eye on snacks, and ensuring the office remains stress-free with timely tail wags and belly-flop breaks. Morale is high—and I’m why.

Long hikes, loud barks, and high-speed backyard zoomies. I’m also working on perfecting my “sit-stay-stare” technique for maximum treat returns.

My humans are my pets. I’ve trained them well. Favorite destination? Anywhere with a creek and squirrels. Personal project: digging the perfect hole (still in beta).

I can hear a cheese wrapper open from three rooms away. Also, I’ve never lost a staring contest.

Teleportation. That way, I could instantly be wherever someone drops food.

Peanut butter anything. Bonus points if it’s hidden in a puzzle toy. Coffee? No thanks—I’m naturally energized.

Security detail for the office printer. It makes suspicious noises and must be monitored at all times.

Chase a mail truck… all the way to the post office.